| Friday, January 27th, 2006 |
| 12:36 pm |
sick of life
i am so tired of being concious so i am going back to bed in a minute. life can be such a drag sometimes. hands are amazing things. my dog shit on the carpet this morning b/c i couldn't wake up b/c i took my seroquil late last night. i just can't sleep with out that shit. i am so hopelessly addicted to that shit. i am in such a negative mood. bah humbug. i am so finding something to do today. alright good night... again. Current Mood:  bored |
| Thursday, January 26th, 2006 |
| 10:53 pm |
ohhh fuck me
i am so fucking depressed i have the worst insomnia and i am trying to come off of this seroquil... shh don't tell... i'm going to leave everything else alone... but this is a tough battle and let me tell YOU i am loosing. miserably. i used to be able to sleep until they fucking put me on this shit. Oh fuck you you bastards. so its like i know at one point i was capable of sleeping with out. im just not so sure that i am now. Current Mood:  awake |
| 9:55 am |
Floating into Oblivion
I was feeling really down this morning. I mean my vacation fucking sucked. Although we did find a really cool house, I got sick half was through our journey. And winter cel was with out a doubt the worst synod event that I have ever had to suffer through. And they changed my flight in Atlanta last night and I had to take that subway all the way to the other side of the airport, which normally isn't a big deal, but I almost missed my flight. And that would have been a serious bummer. So to help my down mood I smoked myself into oblivion and cranked up the Jefferson Airplane and danced around the house. I ignored what we getting me down just laughed at how retarded the situation life has me in right now is. I have never laughed so hard by myself before. I must have looked like a lunatic to the people accross the canal, dancing in circles around the pool. I fucking hate the french. I have my GED class tonight, and I have to take my driving test for my license again in a few hours. Current Mood:  giddy |
| Thursday, January 12th, 2006 |
| 8:19 pm |
AHHHHH FUCK
AWKDJF;KLASDJV;LKSDNFAKBVLASDJL;KFJ I HATE LIFE LIFE DOES SUCK JUST WHEN YOU THINK OH GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I HATE MY LIFE. FUCK LIFE! AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I HATE LIVEJOURNAL IT'S FUCKING RETARDED AND I FUCKING HATE MY SPACE TO YOU TECHNOLOGY WHORES! AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? ABOVE ALL ELSE? FUCK PEOPLE. THIS IS GOING TO BE MY LAST UPDATE, AND FROM NOW ON I AM STICKING TO LIBRARYS... IF YOU REALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME YOU WOULDN'T READ MY FUCKING LIVEJOURNAL TO "CATCH UP WITH ME" YOU WOULD FUCKING CALL ME... OR JUST AT LEAST RETURN MY PHONE CALLS JUST ONCE. OH AND I AM TYPING IN CAPS JUST BECAUSE I KNOW ITS ANNOYING. I NEED A FUCKING ZANEX. GOOD BYE Current Mood: TIRED OF LIFE AND PEOPLE |
| Wednesday, January 11th, 2006 |
| 6:56 pm |
Ohhhh Boy.
So totally.... Damn. That's all that I have to say. Damn. I haven't... nevermind. Damn. That's all that I have to say. Damn. Current Mood:  weird |
| 11:18 am |
Damn.
Didn't get my licence. Failed the driving part. I really am a terrible driver, but at least I admit it. I hate driving, but I need my license to get a decent job... Yup. I am supposed to hang out with Orlando today. He's 6'8'', it's so cool. I'm going crazy. Jordan got kicked out of his house and is living with his dad in the cape. Him and the nigger got really drunk and don't remember how they got home. Well mom wasn't very happy with them when they smelled like alcohal... She kind of flipped I guess you'd say. I can't say that I didn't see this coming though. He's 19 years old and doesn't have a job. He's supposed to be moving to Chicago with Sam but I haven't seen an effort towards reaching that goal. I mean don't get me wrong I love Jordan to death, but he just doesn't want to grow up. Totally understandable I mean growing up does suck. Did I tell you that I dropped out yesterday. I'm signing up for GED courses. I was just so sick of all of the drama and the bull shit. You know I was really close with my principal and the school's owner... Not so much anymore... The closing on that relationship really sucked. Depressing actually, but oh well. I really hope that he calls me soon, because I really can't stand being in this house all day long. I need to go do something. Anything but be here alone all day long. AHHH HE'S ON HIS WAY I HAVE TO GO Current Mood:  happy |
| Friday, January 6th, 2006 |
| 11:55 pm |
God...
I feel like such a bitch. How do you tell a guy that you aren't interested in him after making out with him? And still keep him from like... feeling bad-? Guess it's not possible huh? I mean seriously though... He took that way to seriously... It was just, well it was just what it was and nothing more. Sorry. But for real... I can't stand it here. Went a little loo-loo earlier, thought that Nevermind. Well I totally just took a seroquil and I'm crashing... But my bed feels awfully Nevermind. Btw: did I mention that we smoked some unbelievable weed? Like shit you don't see very often. It was beautiful. Current Mood:  high |
| 5:27 pm |
Ohhhh
i'm really fucking loosing my will to live. when i realize that i have no one to call to hang out with. like not a i'm cracking up i cant take this seclusion anymore i can't function anymore nothing worth staying concious for Current Mood: crazy |
| 7:42 am |
Explorer vs. Mustang
I have my driver license test today at 2:45. My mother was supposed to find all of the paper work so that I could drive the mustang. But she failed to find everything that I needed (car registration form) and now I have to drive the fucking explorer. I am going to fail. I fucking hate driving that shit. It's huge and you can't see half of what's going on. I am jumping in the shower. Oh and btw: I ended up not dropping out. Now I just go 2 days a week. Peace out nicca. Current Mood:  annoyed |
| Wednesday, January 4th, 2006 |
| 1:17 pm |
Fucked up...
I've smoked myself into oblivion to avoid the pains of living... I am probably dropping out, you probably think that I should give you and explanation. But you know what I think? I don't think I owe anybody a fucking explanation. Fucking DMV is always busy turns out... Oh fuck me. I could kill right now. I... oh god... I am really fucking loosing it now. Had enough. And now fuck fuck fuck argh.. Oh sweet Jesus... I'm hungry... I would have my delicious dumplings if my mother hadn't fucking eaten them. Curses. I am too stoned... Fucking kreeper!!! asdfalskdjf ljlmfao the sounds of aim in a silent house reminded me of tmunk in the 7th/8th grade a;lsdjfklasjdf;lksjaf;dglj khahahahahahahahahaha god i haven't thought of him in forever aaaahhhhhahaha omg this is to much Current Mood: high |
| Monday, January 2nd, 2006 |
| 4:56 pm |
Another day gone down the drain...
I meant to go apply at blockbuster today, and to smoke and paint... I guess I did get something done... we finally went grocery shopping and i got a bunch of herbs for my herb garden (including catnip, basil, and chives). oh and i put alot of christmas decorations away and mister brother here didn't do shit. he got out of mowing the lawn and is sitting next to me playing video games still in his fucking pjs I wouldn't mind have some like personal friends... but since i don't have any i really don't mind. don't get me wrong i would love to have a close friend... (i guess...) but i really don't need one. i have to fucking to make something to smoke out of b/c my bowl is temporarily gone (come back to me baby!) how fucking annoying ohhh i feel so fucking barfalicious Current Mood:  nauseated |
| 9:54 am |
Growing up...
I have learned something of value about men... They are all quite typically the same. Age does not make a difference... Weather they be 17 or 26... For the most part they are all on the same axis. You are never going to find a perfectly mature guy... I mean... I meet 26 that just aren't as... mature as you would give a 26 year old the credit for. I really thought that getting on here and attempting to explain something would help me... But I am just finding it harder and harder to put into words now that I dwell on it conciously. You see this paragraph was just the begining to my theory on a specific subject... But I am finding it to press on in the present state of mind. Well I am going to go make a... I don't know. Paint or something. Current Mood: cynical |
| Sunday, January 1st, 2006 |
| 3:52 pm |
Happy Mother Fucking New Year
jager and jack... shots, and lots of them at batman's last night... me and joe broke up yesterday, i think he's still pretty pissed at me because i didn't call him last night i was way to trashed... but i had fun it was def. an awesome party. it was probably one of the most trashed times i've seen jordan argh waiting for jason to give me a call going to get some bud burn with him and either make candles or paint... i haven't busted out the water colors in forever alright well i'll talk to you later btw: i just watched the best movie ever Hooper with Burt Reynolds in it ok well see you later btw: people in va if you actually read this... i am going to be in va the 19th... and the 19th only but i will be making stops so give me a call... see ya Current Mood: hung over |
| Thursday, December 29th, 2005 |
| 7:46 pm |
Ill
my dad's sick ya'll real sick.... there's isn't a definate cure for cancer but at least there's SOME... there is no cure for krone's disease there is no limit to how much you can loose in one year... joe's mom goes in for surgury soon... i don't know what you believe in but say a prayer for her and my poppa Current Mood: morose |
| Wednesday, December 28th, 2005 |
| 4:35 pm |
Everything is so fucked up
Everything is so fucked up... I can't stop thinking about this conversation that I had with my mom about a week ago. Sam was being a real dick to me today... It was really fucked up. Really fucked up... I got stoned with Tarek though.... and I am going to another party at Batman's house on New Year's.... And we are making a ball out of Jack bottles to drop off the roof. Going back over to Jordan's... Peace out nigga Current Mood: fucked |
| Saturday, December 24th, 2005 |
| 7:51 am |
COLLEGE PARTY
I went to Batman's 24th b-day party last night in N Cape... Got totally trashed... Got home three hours ago, and now I am up and getting ready to go to my grandmother's house. Still kind of drunk, and definately feeling the effects of a hang over... Argh... I have church, and family bonding time today yuck :-P I saw Christine. We talked. I saw Jason, we talked. Hung out with Eddy.... Assisted with alot of keg stands. Got really stoned. Took shots with Batman... Took shots with Jason... Gave some people my number... TINA MADE FUCKING FRIENDS... I am a fucking hindu cow! I feel so enlightened right now. Words cannot describe last night. I had so much fun. Woooooooo!!! Well I have to go finish packing. Oh god my head... Current Mood:  drunk |
| Friday, December 23rd, 2005 |
| 3:21 pm |
Merry fucking christmas
Man this time of the year really getting people acting like their panties are all up in a bunch. Mark is making fudge lol (for not apparent reason at all), and I am getting ready for Batman's party tonight. I even shaved and painted my toenails and nails vampire red. I made 2 bracelets for people.... and I really should make more... and I feel like smoking some... and I smoked salvia out of Joe's hooka last night, and it didn't work... I knew it wouldn't but no one ever listens to me so I don't even bother trying to make my point now... Like none of us tripped we just felt a little dizzy. Shit has been really complicated lately... or at least it's seemed that way inside of my head. I have just een so caught up in everything I almost forgot how to live my life, just let loose and have fun. Christmas is so close and I still haven't gotten Joe like his "main" gift.... I don't even know what it's going to be. Some decisions are just so much easier than others. Well I am going to go... I don't know I think smoke a bowl.. anyways... much love and farewell. Current Mood: entertained |
| Tuesday, December 20th, 2005 |
| 4:45 pm |
Jordan's b-day
Today is Jordan's b-day.... Definately partying and getting trashed tonight. Oh what a night late december back in 63 you know i didn't even know her name, but i was never going to be the same oh what a nightttt Current Mood:  hyper |
| Monday, December 19th, 2005 |
| 2:23 pm |
In a bit of a pickle....
Things are getting more and more fucked up all of the time. Sometimes it's rather heart breaking. Today is going to be one hell of a day, and I am just waiting for the horror of it all to unveil itself and take charge over our lives again. We live in a constant doubt. A doubt of ourselves and our lives... I found out today that my mother doubts more than most. It was heart breaking... The woman who I thought was the most confident in the decisions that got her to where she is today is really not so confident after all. On ward to battle with me.... |
| Sunday, December 18th, 2005 |
| 4:02 am |
argh
i am not calling anyone anymore. if they want to hang out with me they have to call me. otherwise they can fuck off. i am so sick of people. i am so sick of life. i have just been popping seroquil all weekend. when joe called like 20 minutes ago i had no idea what day it was. i just took another one so i should sleep til tommorow afternoon when it kicks in. night Current Mood: lonely |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
tinanwonderland's journal